Saturday, 9 June 2007

Taming the monster

Requiring to lose about ten pounds, Epi, has been going to the gym more frequently these days.
No, he does not dress for gym in the ancient Greek tradition!
This Saturday morning was no exception. Woke up, shorts and T-shirt on, trainers on, a glass of cold water, and off he went. He looked really cool walking to the gym, ipod shuffle blasting loud music in his ears, and towel carelessly thrown over the shoulder.
Cool indeed! Until he got in front of the treadmill once again. He really hates that damned machine, but he's always ready to confront it. This day he was ready to win! He felt the energy flowing through his body. He was in the zone!
Purposefully, he got on, set the parameters pumped the volume up on his ipod and pressed the start button for a 25minute run.
Thirty seconds into the warm up walk, he started having second thoughts. "Is this really a good idea? Shouldn't I be lazing under the sun on some beach? After all, what is the purpose of it? I won't actually get anywhere on this!"
As if the machine was reading his thoughts, it started speeding up. Faster and faster it went, until there was no time for poor Epi to even think! He was only trying to keep up with the enemy and find the time to inhale the much needed next breath. (He should have quit smoking a long time ago!).
He threw the towel over the display of the machine, trying to avoid seeing that what seemed to him like hours of running was nothing more than a few seconds. But he had more opponents to confront! All the bloody monitors in front of him were airing morning news programs and had the time displayed in the bottom corner.
Huffing and puffing, gasping for air, he closed his eyes in an attempt to ignore time. Sweat was pouring from his body, soaking his clothes. He felt like he was going to meet with his maker.
But when he felt that he was going to lose this battle, on the machine in front of him he found hope.
Yes! A Greek goddess had decided to challenge the beast in front of him, and she had arrived just in the nick of time. There was no need to stare at the timer any more, no need to stare at the monitors. He could focus his attention elsewhere! He was going to pretend that he was running after her. (You know. Like dogs run after cars without actually catching up with them).
Yes! There was a point to this struggle now. Suddenly the fight seemed easier. The changes in the speed and the incline of the machine meant nothing at all. It was a piece of cake.
Then, without even noticing, the time the buzzer went and the indication on the machine display read "Cool down period".
The battle had been won. The enemy had given up the challenge and gone back to sleep, gathering energy and laying down its plan for the next bout.
Epi, the fair winner that he is, thanked the machine for the challenge and gave it the opportunity to fight back for its dignity tomorrow morning.


Michelle said...

The bit about chasing the "goddess" the way dogs chase cars gave me a fit of giggles here. I could see that! :-D

My mom's wanting to buy a treadmill. We had an exercise bike thing years ago when I was a kid. My dad bought it, but he never used it. I rode it once or twice but got so bored. That was in the ancient days before ipods though. Heck, even before little bitty casette players! :-\ So riding meant sitting there in the back bedroom watching the wall.

Chasing a greek god would have made it way more interesting.. ;-)

Anonymous said...

The chase might go to a whole 'nother level of distress were Epi to mount an exercise bike in his pursuit. ;)

Epimenides said...

'fraid not David. The bike is but a mere pet to Epi compared to the treadmill monster.