Monday, 17 September 2007

Where's Epi?

It's been a fortnight since I last posted a single word, or since I last visited my friends' blogs.

In total embarrassment, I apologise for disappearing off the face of the earth as it were, but it really has been - and still is - pretty hectic.


If I were to sum up the goings on in my life in these days, it would be as follows:

WORK

Yes, that's where I've been! Working like it's going out of fashion!

Clocking an average of twelve hours a day, including - albeit reluctantly - participating in the relief for the victims of the recent wildfires.

That's pretty much it!

I've been spending most of my limited free time catching up on some Z's and trying to keep my house in a livable state.

Highlights of the past two weeks have been taking my car in for a service (and changing break ads) and voting on the general election! That's pretty pathetic for life content in any one's book. Right?

Unfortunately, I'm still not in a position to guarantee frequent posts, but I promise to put in a more concerted effort.

I miss you guys!

Talk to you soon!!!

Sunday, 2 September 2007

Nature lovers

You may recall, from reading this blog, that about a month ago there was a fire that reduced 20% of the forest around Athens to to ashes.
It seems that this country is "blessed" with numerous "nature loving" individuals, who want to be as close to the forest as they possibly can, perhaps in an attempt to stop such an occurrence from happening again.
To significant personal expense, they have rushed to be the first to show their love for nature, and the way for future generations.
I am disgusted being a law abiding, tax paying citizen in a country with people of such mentality!
We are a third world country with no hope of development!
The Phoenix has no hope of resurrecting. It's ashes have been covered with concrete!


Disgusting concrete structure in the midst of the burnt trees

Disgusting concrete structure #2 in the midst of the burnt trees

A third concrete monster bearing it's ugly head

And a fourth one!

Nice...Naughty but Nice


Michelle has awarded me with the Nice Blogger Award award for, in her words, being "nice...naughty but nice".

Experience has shown me that being called a nice guy is not always a good thing!

For xample: "You're a nice guy but I'd rather we stay good friends"....you know what I mean. ;)

Anyway, a great thanks to Michelle - I'm proud she called me naughty, too! - and to all of you out there.

Tuesday, 28 August 2007

The facts, the figures and the usual suspects


Although some of the wildfires are still raging in some places in Greece, things have - with the grace of God - improved significantly over the past twenty four hours.

It is now that the size of the destruction - devastation, would be the most operative word - is becoming evident.

A few numbers to give you an idea of what has happened here:
  • 68 dead people.

  • 3,000 homeless families.

  • 1,900,000 acres of woodland reduced to ashes.

  • Tens of thousands of dead animals.

  • 150 villages wiped out of the map.

  • Financial cost approximately 2% of the GNP.

This is the worst disaster to hit this country since WW II!

What has become clearly evident, however, is the gross inefficiency of government and local authorities. We are talking about people who cannot organise themselves to go to the bathroom!

It has been the heroics of poorly trained, ill equipped fire fighters, who quite literally threw themselves in the flames along with common folk who were fighting against the odds to save their livelihood.

The sacred site of Olympia was just about spared, although the historic hills surrounding the site were badly burnt. It is embarrassing to know that no harm came to that beautiful site our ancestors selected to hold the Olympic games and feed the Olympic ideals, was burnt during our generation.

It will take decades for nature to recover, which raises the question of what will these people do during that time? Their livelihood has been destroyed! People who were working the land, growing olive trees, vines, goats and sheep are left with nothing! Even if their houses were spared during the raging inferno, everything else around them has been reduced to cinders!

In the midst of this - keeping in mind that there's a general election on September the 16th - political parties are making a circus of this calamity by trying to achieve political gains out of the situation, arguing over the ashes, over the pain of the people caught in this disaster.

Enough is enough! It is these blithering idiots who are the main reason for the utter chaos and disorganisation in the government, in the authorities.

We all know who they are! They are the blood sucking leeches, who will do and say anything to gain a government post, not to do an ounce of good to this country, but instead fill their pockets and those of their lackeys.

Don't they know that you only need one coin for the ferry man to take you across the river Styx?

Sunday, 26 August 2007

Under Attack


Having disappeared for a few days, inundated with the demands at the work front, I return bearing apologies for my disappearance along with bad news.

For the past three days, Greece and in particular the Peloponese and Evia have been on fire! They even started a couple of fires at the remaining parts of green surrounding Athens, which were thankfully put out. Saturday morning, the skies over the capital were covered by thick smoke, and it was literally raining ashes!

With an approximate 200 odd wild fires over the past days, the situation is pretty desperate, and the whole country has been set in a state of emergency and assistance has been requested from our international friends. Greece is under attack!
The weather is on the arsonists side, since this time of the year the prevailing north-eastern winds keep the fires burning, while they consume tree after tree, village after village, leaving behind them chaos and disaster.

The authorities were once again caught with their pants down, unprepared and in a state of utter panic and disorganisation. Watching pictures of people fighting the fires with branches, buckets of water and garden hoses, trying in vain to save their livelihood from the ten meter high flames, just shows the desperation of the situation.
We are already mourning the deaths of 53 people, who were unable to flee their houses and were caught in the midst of the raging inferno. The charred remains of a woman were found in a car, along with her three children!

Fears that that there is some kind of sinister plan to destroy this country are enhanced by the simultaneous appearance of new fronts during the evenings - when the fire fighting aircraft can not operate - and the recovery of sophisticated incendiary devices. There's even a video of a couple of guys starting a fire at the forests near Athens!

At the time of writing these lines, the raging fire is steadily approaching the sacred ancient site of Olympia - the cradle of the Olympic Games - and it is yet unclear whether the museum has been consumed by the flames or not!

Over the past three days people have lost their houses, all their possessions, while beautiful forests have been reduced to ashes. The only hope is the spirit of these people!

As a country we have been through several disasters over the centuries and still have managed to recover and come back strong.

Let's just hope that the Phoenix will soon resurrect from its ashes and fly high in full pride!

Tuesday, 21 August 2007

Born on the 13th of February

My dear friend Steph has tagged me for this meme. A meme about what other important events (appart from the birth of yours trully) happened on February 13th through history. Let's have a look see shall we?
Instructions: Go type in your birthday in Wikipedia (month and day). Write down three events, 2 births, 1 holiday and tag 5 friends.

Events
  • 1633 - Galileo Galilei arrives in Rome for his trial before the Inquisition.
  • 1894 - Auguste and Luis Lumiere patent the Cinematographe, a combination movie camera and projector.
  • 2004 - The Harvard-Smithsonian Center of Astrophysics discovers the universe's largest diamond, white dwarf star BPM 37093!

Births

  • 1950 - Peter Gabriel, British musician (Genesis)
  • 2974 - Robbie Williams, English singer.

Holiday

  • None, but it's St. Beatrix day!

Tagees, please slot yourself right on the last slot and bump everyone up. And the list: Are We There Yet?, Gran’s Memory Keeping Corner, Teacher Julie, Mommyness is Happiness, This is a miracle, Blur Ting, Remedial Rumination, Epimenides

And now, brace yourselves for my "13 of 3's", the second instalment of the meme:

Three things that scare me

  1. Roller coasters.
  2. Women with PMS!
  3. Isolation

Three people who make me laugh

  1. Rowan Atkinson
  2. Billy Connolly
  3. My girl, when she says "I'll do you in the street" (which means: "I'll take you out tonight" you dirty minded so-and-so's)

Three things I love

  1. My family and my girl.
  2. Manchester United.
  3. Laying on a quiet beach under the sun, listening to the sound of the waves.

Three things I hate

  1. Pretentious people
  2. Dishonesty
  3. Seeing children starving and suffering

Three things I don't understand

  1. What was there before the big bang
  2. Thousands of foreign languages and dialects
  3. Why this particular question is limited to only three things

Three things on my desk

  1. My PC monitor
  2. A cup of coffee
  3. My feet when blogging at home

Three things I'm doing right now

  1. Boring you to tears
  2. Sweating! (A third heat wave this summer!!!)
  3. ...and blogging, I suppose.

Three things I want to do before I die

  1. Have a happy family of my own
  2. Travel the world
  3. Retire a filthy rich person next year!

Three things I can do

  1. Liven up a dull party
  2. Put a foot in my mouth
  3. Cook and iron pleats!

Three things I can't do

  1. Retire a filthy rich person next year!
  2. Speak Portuguese....but I'm working on it!
  3. Stop boring you to tears, I guess.

Three things I think you should listen to

  1. A pregnant woman's belly
  2. The sound of the sea
  3. Your gut feeling

Three things you should never listen to

  1. Yourself criticising you
  2. My elephant jokes
  3. Politicians

Three shows I watched as a kid

  1. Stingray
  2. Dallas (and later on, Debbie doing it)
  3. Bonanza

Please feel free to participate as I will cheat again and not actually tag specific people for this meme!

Monday, 20 August 2007

Just planning ahead


I've been tagged by Wolfgang for this meme about what I do with $1,000,000.00!

Hmmm! Interesting proposition!

I can't say that I'm totally prepared for this, but I have to admit that I've asked myself this question on several occasions.

Here goes then:

  1. Make a fund to ensure my folks have enough to take them through old age without needing anything.
  2. Buy a second house, and rent my current one out.
  3. Buy me a beach house in Salvador de Bahia in Brazil. A luxurious love nest for my girl and I.
  4. Buy some sun tan lotion, swimming trunks, hawaianas and a beach towel. I somehow don't think I'll need to work a lot after getting my $1,000,000.00!!!
  5. Invest a large chunk through a trusty stockbroker, in a guaranteed capital, high return investment. (This is a fictional scenario anyway,is it not?)

  6. Visit all my blogging pals around the world, introduce them to me and you know who, and at least buy you guys dinner in the restaurant of your choice.
  7. Three weeks after giving no sign of life, I'd walk into the office to return my keys, and wish them all a good life!
  8. Find some kind of a job/work to at least keep the blood flowing to my brain.

My tagees are the following:


Instructions :

**Start Copy**Proposition: If you Have $1,000,000.00…………………………

Requirements: continue above sentences

Tag Mode: 5 bloggers

Link: Add your anchor and post link below.

What They Do With Their $1 Million1.

1.SYH will spend for Family

2. Miche will give to the needy

3. Montessorimum will keepsake

4. Lovely Mummy will spend & save

5. MummyInVain will fully utilise

6. Babyfiona will buy house and open business

7. MonkeyWong will go for a long vacation

8. Emila Yusof will realise her dream

9. Mariuca will open a Perfume Gallery

10.Janice Ng will upgrade house and go for long vacation

11.Hin will blog to donate for charity

12.Bobo will invest in property and let her parents go on a holiday.

13. Adrian will spend it all!

14. Brad will spend all of his money on foolish gadgets

15.Danielle will buy a cottage in the woods and never look back

16. Brown Baron will hold a $17,500 blog contest.

17. Bobby will be on a World vacation forever.

18. Arsenal Marketing will Tithe 10%, use 10K for advertising, Invest the rest

19. Barrett will do ALOT of Traveling

20. Mommibee will Give, Pay Loan and Education Fund

21. Sean will go for family

22. Seiche would Fix you but good

23. HollyGL will invest, invest, invest in herself and others

24. Epimenides will invest, build a lovenest and live on the beach.

Thursday, 16 August 2007

Simpsonized

I was wondering what a cartoon character of me would look like, and decided to have some fun by uploading a picture of mine for the "simpson's" treatment, at http://www.simpsonizeme.com/

I proudly display the results of this fun experiment. I actually think it's pretty cool!




I decided to take it a step further and add the picture of my girl! I suspect you were wondering what she looks like.





A match made in heaven! Don't you think?

Wednesday, 15 August 2007

Doing Nothing

I thoroughly enjoyed today, and it isn't over yet!

As I mentioned in my previous post, today is a public holiday in Greece. It is Holly Mary's Assumption day (thanks rebecca for the terminology) and every thing in Greece is closed.
I woke up late - at least by the standards of the past couple of weeks - at around 8.30, had some breakfast and listened to some music while taking a long hot shower.

Stood in front of the mirror and looked at my reflection for some time and noticing my "love handles" have significantly reduced. Even in my grossly overweight days, I never did have a pot belly. For some strange reason, I've always expanded laterally. I was what you would call two-and-a-half-dimension fat!

The black circles around my eyes have reduced, too, since, I started applying a soothing lotion, and though unshaven for a day, the stubble on my face had some "designer" quality to it.
I felt comfortable enough with my appearance to be in the public view!

We spent the day at my Uncle and Aunt's place in the north suburbs of deserted Athens. We had a barbecue lunch and a good laugh. I hadn't seen them for weeks, and even then it was in a hurry!

Returning home, I decided to make yet another significant donation to the mobile phone company, and rung up my girl in Rio. I've been trying to get through for the past couple of days, but it was all in vain. Today was different! Though I didn't succeed in waking her up - I believe I've mentioned how much I like her sexy, freshly awoken voice - it was a sexy discussion nevertheless! My non existent Portuguese flowed effortlessly from my mouth, and she made sense of it! I do improvise well, I suppose.

She will be visiting soon for what she describes as a "lua de mel" (moonlight of honey = honeymoon) vacation, and I'll reciprocate with a "lua de mel" visit to Brazil soon after. A hell of a lot of "mel" coming my way, and, boy-oh-boy do I have a sweet tooth!!!


My next task in this do-as-little-as-possible day, will be to listen to the football match on the internet and hope that ManU don't fail to score again today!

Tomorrow is back to the old daily routine! Doesn't time fly when you're having fun?

Tuesday, 14 August 2007

Back to "Normal"

Just a brief post to thank you all for your kind words of support and encouragement for this philosopher who was feeling a bit overawed by life last night! I truly thank you all!

As of the time of opening my eyes this morning I've been in a great mood! Perhaps it was just a phase of the moon the affected me - I do fit in the category of those affected by the lunar cycle. The lunatics! - or perhaps it was the fact that today I have the day off! Not just me. It's the whole of Greece. It's the commemoration of the death of Holly Mary, and it's a public holiday!
It is also my mom's name day - a celebration on the day of the saint somebody is named after - and, typical me, I will present her with just a hug and a kiss! I once again forgot!

Work today was actually pretty good. The typical daily shambles, but I just seemed to be in a cloud of my own the whole time.

On my way back home, I had a close encounter with a hearse - I keep drawing them to me it seems - in somewhat of a hurry! I mean, I was doing sixty and was barely keeping up! Count Dracula must have been thirsty for some young virgin's blood. He must be new in town, because there's hardly any young women of that variety left. The only virgins in Athens are the Caryatids at the Erechthion at the Acropolis, and even those are plaster cast fakes!

I got home safe and rewarded myself with some Haagen Das, Belgian chocolate ice cream!

I have the opportunity to sleep in tomorrow and that is worth a calorie abundant celebration!

Monday, 13 August 2007

Tired

A doodle prepared between several phone calls

Driving to work each morning I pass through a junction with a little memorial in the shape of a Greek Orthodox church on one of the corners. It was placed there by the family and friends of a poor 25year old who was killed -run over by a truck - on that particular spot.

It always makes me think of the cliche "Live each day of your life as if it were your last one".

Have I done that today? Have I in fact done so in the past weeks and months? The answer is "No"!

I even wonder sometimes whether I actually have a life!

Going through the daily routine of getting up at 5.00am and being at the office until 8.00pm or 9.00pm hardly constitutes having a life. (Keep in mind that it's a job that I do not like, for a company I like even less)!

Returning home exhausted with enough energy to only prepare a bowl of corn flakes for dinner, trying to steal some minutes to write a post so that I don't alienate myself from new friends - I have not seen your childhood friends for almost a year now! - perhaps make a phone call to my girlfriend half way across the globe, getting a shower and five hours sleep before I hit this vicious circle again, hardly constitutes having a life!

I ask the Big Guy upstairs to cut me some slack, knowing deep inside that I should be grateful for my health, my family, my friends.

Yet, I still know that there is more to life than this!

There must be a better job out there for me! There must be some way of making a family with my girl! There must be some way of filling up my life!

All I am asking for, BIG GUY, is Cut Me Some Slack Already!!!

Sunday, 12 August 2007

Strange Dream


Standing in front of a hospital bed, looking at my father laying there, fresh out of the operating theater, my mother sitting next to him, holding his hand, with a worried look on her face.
I woke up in a cold sweat and spoke aloud: "Please God not my Dad"! It was October '99 and I was in Ghana.
A week later my sister informed me that dad had and appendectomy on the day I saw that dream!
I didn't think about it until December the same year, when my dad was admitted to the hospital for a second time, for another operation since it seemed that the cancer was not completely cleared the first time.
It was the afternoon after the operation, while standing over my dad's bed, that it struck me. I had lived that moment before!
I looked around the room, and everything was so familiar. The layout, the postures of all present, even the name of the old gentleman recovering in the next bed!
I didn't speak about it with anyone for months to come, fearing derision or strange looks at the very least!
I've had some deja vu kind of experiences before, but nothing as strong or freaking out as this!

Saturday, 11 August 2007

True Love


Whenever I mention my support for Manchester United, people think that I support them because of their on and of the field success in the past decade. Nothing could be further from the truth!

My dedicated love relation with this historic club started when I was six or seven years old growing up in Ghana.

My dad's Greek team was going through a spell of continuously getting beat by their strongest rivals. Supporting them brought a lot of stick from kids at school so things had to change. I looked outside the borders for a team worthy of my support, but I didn't like the outfits of the teams in the English First Division.

It was then that I asked a friend of mine, who was at the time going to boarding school in the UK, who the champions of the Second Division were.

"Manchester United" he said, and it took me a couple of months reading it of a piece of paper to memorise it and be able to recite it myself.

Three years later, I watched them live on television beat their bitter rivals Liverpool in the FA Cup final. It was the the concrete set on the foundation of my love for this club.

I wrote a letter to them, asking how I can get some memorabilia and a book of their history and, lo and behold, two weeks later I got a letter back from them. I was ecstatic, that a club of their stature would actually reply to a letter of a nine year old kid!

I smashed my clay piggy bank to smithereens - my dad offered his kind donation - and I ordered all the memorabilia I wanted, including the book.

I learned about the championships, the Cups, the Medals, the honours, the records and, above all, their strength and resolve in the face of disaster when more that half of the team died in the Munich air disaster of '57.

I was a ManU fan through and through!

I listened to the broadcast of their matches on BBC world, watched them on TV, and went to Old Trafford to watch them almost every home game during my studies in Manchester, becoming a club member back in 1987.

Looking back, it's been a love affair that has taken me from the highest depths of despair and sadness to the greatest heights of elation, thrill and excitement.

A love affair that will only end the day I close my eyes!

Thursday, 9 August 2007

Here goes another one


...flying over the cookoo's nest!

This seems to be the best description of office life these past couple of weeks.

Thankfully, I'm not the only one in there desperately trying to keep up with what seems to be a long lost plot!

It has now become painfully obvious that our ERP and WPS systems are not best of friends, they hardly ever communicate with each other, except for human intervention. We have therefore changed our job titles to "Human Interfaces", constantly transferring data from one to the other.

Meanwhile, we try to put some discipline into the two spoilt kindergarten brats, only to be thrown back by some new surprising behaviour by each of them. The use of pen and paper has become mandatory, to such an extent that we seem to go through a dozen of trees' worth of paper a day!

Deep inside, all of us are aware that we are completely and utterly screwed for the next few months! It'll take a lot of time for the two brats to reconcile their differences and become the friends we all hope and pray they become. Time that we don't have since the Earth revolves around itself every twenty for hours!

To make things more interesting, the majority of the people are taking their annual leave around this time, leaving behind a couple of heroic fighters trying desperately to joggle a few hundred of daily tasks between them.

What is surprising though, is that this state of affairs has brought up the best of the previously untapped humour hidden in each and every one of us!

No action occurs without somebody making a funny remark about it! Especially when there some kind of a cock up involved. And believe you me, there's a heck of a lot of cock ups these days!

The hours we spend at the office, carrying out our "interface" duties are building up to such an extent, that today we even ordered out for a pizza for dinner. Other co-workers go out for drinks or food. We bring it to the office!

With September being the busiest moth in the year for our company, and the proverbial light-in-the-tunnel of our current software mess being months away, we have all resigned to the idea that the trend of pizza dinners at the office is going to become a status quo.

Anyone care for a slice?

Tuesday, 7 August 2007

Please don't laugh


I've been contemplating writing a post of this sort, revealing the actual philosopher behind the ancient facade, for quite some time now. Stealing jyankee's recent post was the perfect idea! I've done it once more before and got away with it, so why not push my luck a bit further.

So, my dear friends from the blogoshere, sit back comfortably, brace yourselves because it's time for revelations!

This is a picture of yours-truly from a couple of years back - notice how I unceremoniously removed my sister from the photo - in the wonderful Greek island of Sifnos. (You'd want to visit there sometime 'cause the food is fantastic!)

Hoping that you have recovered from the shock (especially the ladies), I shall proceed without further ado to providing you some more information on Epi.

Friday, 3 August 2007

Friday poetry


I drive as fast as the wind blows,
to office every day.
The cops have missed me every time,
I haven’t had to pay.

Sit on my desk, coffee in hand,
Greet everyone around.
I crack a joke, or maybe two,
The girls think I’m a clown.

Before too long it’s clear to see,
There’s lots of shit to do.
Roll up those sleeves and get to work,
Without further ado.

Between the phone calls and the tasks,
It’s time to have a snack,
Another coffee, maybe a scone,
Cutting the staff some slack.

Phone calls, more tasks and then some more,
Back to the crazy run,
Peak at the clock and realise,
Crap! It is only one!

The time flies by and people leave,
They are all heading home,
I’m still around, and will be more,
They’ve left me all alone.

It’s closing nine, more crap appears,
From almost everywhere,
It’s Friday night, I’m going home,
I really do not care!

Thursday, 2 August 2007

Are you bored?

A rip-off of a rip-off, this meme, but I have to thank jyankee for allowing me to use it!

  1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
    Emil - pleased to meet you, too - after my grandfather (Dad's dad) and it's not even a Greek name!
  2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
    Cried of sadness around February - March this year, but I laugh myself to tears when I listen to pep talks at the office!
  3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
    Are you kidding me? A pencil holding baboon would make a handriten text more presentable! My excuse: Einstein's handwriting wasn't that good either!
  4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
    Roast turkey, or honey roated ham! Hmmmmmm....water to my mouth.
  5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
    Shoot! I hope not! Has anyone claimed otherwise?
  6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
    Oh Yessss! Especially during this period!With all this crap at work, there's always something to make fun of.
  7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?
    Who me? Never! Never ever!
  8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
    In fact I do! It's other parts of my anatomy that people are concentrating on busting these days.
  9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
    I fell from 20 inches high and broke both legs. You thow me off a high place, with a rubber band around my ankles and seriously expect me to bounce up again in one piece?
  10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
    Kellogg's Special K, with chocolate milk!
  11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
    Of course I do! I'm a neat kinda guy!
  12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?
    Not so much physically, as mentally. I have the strength to keep a smiling face on when things are going south!
  13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
    Anything with chocolate!
  14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
    Men: Smile and attire.
    Women: same as men with the addition of...the...hmmm...chest! :)
  15. RED OR PINK?
    Blue, for my clothes - conservative so-and-so as my sister would have you believe - and a subttle red for her fingernails. Though I like "French" (I do believe it's what they call the clear with white tips style)....but that's me digressing again.
  16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
    My job!
  17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
    Go on! Have a wid guess!
  18. YOU WANT EVERYONE TO BLOG THIS?
    No! Sorry but this is a pretty lame question, isn't it?
  19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
    Blue jeans and boat shoes.
  20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
    Corn flakes with chocolate milk. I got home by 9.30pm and couldn't be arsed to prepare anything more complicated!
  21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
    The Division Bell by Pink Floyd.
  22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
    Blue, like the clear skies! Have i mentioned that I LOVE flying?
  23. FAVORITE SMELLS?
    Freshly baked bread, freshly grown coffee.....and perhaps you have guessed by now, chocolate!!!
  24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
    My mom asking her for the recipe for the corn flakes!
  25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?
    She didn't send me this, but I do love my friend from the land of the rising sun! Thanks girl!!
  26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
    Football, as in the Manchester United variety!
  27. HAIR COLOR?
    Black, with a bit of grey on the sides! Sexy or what?
  28. EYE COLOR?
    Green. (Blood shot red with black circles these days)
  29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
    Yes!
  30. FAVORITE FOOD?
    Anything chicken! Favourite cuisine: chinese! (Just thought I'd throw that in and wait for the invitations to dinner)
  31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
    Happy endings. A romantic aquarian, aren't I?
  32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
    Debbie does Dallas! (without subtitles) Can't remember actually. It's been a while since I watched something good.
  33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
    White T-shirt.
  34. SUMMER OR WINTER?
    Neither! I'm a spring and fall kinda romantic person.
  35. HUGS OR KISSES?
    Definately both! (Any offers?)
  36. FAVORITE DESSERT?
    Tiramisu, or cheesecake! (No more food questions please. You know what I had for dinner tonight!)
  37. MOST LIKELY TO POST THIS ON THEIR BLOG?
    Not a clue!
  38. LEAST LIKELY TO BLOG THIS?
    Dito.
  39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
    Change your life in Seven Days. It's an on-off thing, the way work has developed this past fortnight.
  40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
    A box with computer parts. I don't use a mouse pad.
  41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT?
    Ten minutes on CNN and passed out on the sofa.
  42. FAVORITE SOUND?
    My girl's giggling!
  43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
    New Order or Pet Shop Boys!
  44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
    From Florida and Brazil to the west, to Thailand and Taiwan in the east, and from The UK and Germany in the north to Nigeria and Ghana in the south.
  45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
    You've read my blog, you've seen my drawings, so we can all agree on "None Whatsoever"!
  46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
    Mitera (Mother - in Greek) maternity hospital, Athens, Greece. 13 Feb 1967
  47. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK?
    Everyone's!
  48. WHAT TIME IS IT NOW?
    23.11pm and I have a 4.30am wake up!

I bid you all a goodnight or goodmorning, and I'm off to bed.

Wednesday, 1 August 2007

Insurance Claims

The following are actual statements found on insurance forms where drivers attempted to summarise the details of an accident in the fewest possible words.

  • The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention.
  • I thought my window was down, but I found out it was up when I put my head through it.
  • A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.
  • The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.
  • I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.
  • I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.
  • I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble, when my universal joint gave way, causing me to have an accident.
  • An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.
  • I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the roof of my car.
  • The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run, so I run over him.

Quote of the day!

Jesus died,
Einstein died,
and I'm not feeling too good either.

Monday, 30 July 2007

The phonecall

I got through to Brazil on the phone last night. It has taken me a couple of days - including falling asleep with the phone in my hand - but I did it.
She was at home, taking a nap. I have this "fetish" about hearing her voice when she's just woken up, which I might add, she doesn't always appreciate!
All the sexy thoughts flew out of the window though, when she said that she was recovering from the car accident!
"What car accident???"
"Don't worry! It was nothing! I'm fine but a bit sore."
"What? When? How?"
"Don't worry! I'll write you an email"
My absent Portuguese and her poor English made it impossible to discuss the issue into further detail. I desperately need that teach-yourself book quick, along with a respite of the long work hours at the office.
On the plus side of things, it looks that she will be visiting here soon and I can't wait to see her again.
I feel like a silly teenager with a crush!
Perhaps it's true that "you are only as old as the woman you feel!" ;)

Sunday, 29 July 2007

I could do with this right now

Ten or so years ago, while working in Africa, my friend M. and I decided to spend our leave in Myconos, the Ibiza kinda destination in the Agean. We were looking for a 24-hours-a-day party, and this Cycladic island is the full package.
We rented a scooter - I was the passenger, since vehicles with less than four wheels scare the living daylights out of me - and found a nice bungalow at Super Paradise on the rocks overlooking the beach at a very good rate.
We took a swim the following morning, and noticed a series of boats bringing in people to the beach. By 12.30 it was jam packed! There were people of all ages, bearing bathing suits or not! In fact, at some point I warned J.J not to even think about yawning, because God knows what could end up in his mouth!
Rave music was pumping from the humongous loudspeakes of the beach bar, inviting everybody for a drink and a dance! We gladly accepted the invitation, ending up being totally plasterred within a couple of hours. Super Paradise indeed!!!
By the time the sun started its decent into the horizon - a beautiful sight regardless of the alcohol intake - we were paraletic, but still in need for more! Took a sobering cold shower, dressed up for the evening (ie. jeans and T-shirts) and made our way to the main town in Myconos. Singing and laughing on the scooter during the thirty minure trip, we were laughed upon by overtaking large motorbikes, but we couldn't care less. We were where we wanted to be, doing what we wanted to do!
We found ourselves going in circles in the narrow streets of the main town, looking at the white houses, trying to get our bearings, yet constantly being distracted by loosely clad members of the opposite sex proudly displaying their tans among other things. It was going to be a long night!
We found a spot for some coffee and sat there, staring at the people walking by! It was 8.00pm! It was early even for dinner!
An hour or so of coffee drinking, and "sightseeing" later, we were off to grab a bite to eat, and some more alcohol to quench our thirst. We paid through the nose for a seafood dinner, in a nice restaurant, and went next door to a piano bar for a drink. We got hit upon a couple of times, and realised it was a gay bar. What the heck! The music was good and the coctails even better!
Come midnight it was time for hardcore partying. Lots of options available, but we first went to the Scandinavian bar. Cool beer, a very friendly barman and lots of people dancing and drinking.
We kept interrupting our beer drinking, having shot of Quantreau-Drambuie-Grand Marnier. Lethal stuff! Sweet taste in the mouth closely followed by what seems like a nuclear explosion in the stomach!
Two girls speaking English stood next to us at the bar, so I decided to get social. We bought them drinks, they bought us drinks, we danced, we talked. They had come from South Africa and were on the island for a week. As a group, ended up going from bar to bar until the sun started appearing in the horizon.
It was time for breakfast! We got some sandwiches, and sat on the beach, eating and watching the local people going about their daily routine. We were invited to the girls' bungalow to sleep -among other things - for a couple of hours, went home to change and hit the beach.
Seven days of this relentless schedule later, we were on the boat, making our way back to Athens, completely shattered, sunburnt, hung over, broke but extatic non the less.
We promissed ourselves a repeat performance the following year, and the year after....
We ended up going there four years in a row! It became a ritual to us, regardless of any other destinations we would visit each summer.

The long Choo-Choo ride

My dear friend hollygl invited me on train ride with some fellow bloggers. Epi never refuses an invitation from a lady, so here I am ticket in hand, getting on the choo-choo!
It took me some time to join as I was busy at my office disaster zone, but better late than never, I suppose!
I've invited some more passengers to join us in this trip.

***Start Copying Here***Here are the rules:
1. Write a short introduction paragraph about what how you found the list and include a link to the blog that referred you to the list.
2. COPY the Rules and ENTIRE List below and post it to your blog. To avoid duplicate content and increase the amount of keywords your site can accessible for, go ahead and change the titles of the blog. Just don’t change the links of the blog.
3. Take “My New Faves” and move them into the “The Original Faves” list.
4. Add at least 3 Blogs that you’ve just added to your Technorati Favorites to the “My New Faves” section. Remember to also add the “Fave Me” link next to your new blogs (i.e. http://technorati.com/faves?add=http://www.yourdomain.com)
5. Add Everyone on this list to your Technorati Favorites List by clicking on “Fave the Site.” (Please FAVE EVERYONE on the List prior to posting the list or a Kitten will Die Alone in a Dark Alley Tonight). Those who want good karma will fave you back. If not, you will for sure get the benefits of faves from the bloggers who continue this list after you.

My New Faves:

Foulbastard - Fave the Site
Rebecca - Fave the Site
Michelle - Fave the Site

Original Faves:
Gazing Into The Abyss - Fave the Site
Goldy World - Fave the Site
Analysing It - Fave the Site
Holly GL - Fave the Site
Meleah Rebeccah - Fave the Site
Blur ting - Fave the Site
The Domestic Minx - Fave the Site
Gary Lee - Fave the Site
Amber - Fave the Site
Mariuca - Fave the Site
JeanChia - Fave the Site
Janice - Fave the Site
Bobby Revell - Fave the Site
Wonder Woman - Fave the Site
Steve OlsonFave the Site
BlogoSquareFave the Site
Dosh Dosh - Fave the Site
Nate Whitehill - Fave the Site
Ms. Danielle - Fave the Site
Jeff Kee - Fave the Site
Scribble on the Wall - Fave the Site
Jimi Morrisons Head - Fave the Site
Jon Lee - Fave the Site
SiteLogic - Fave the Site
Julies Journal - Fave the Site
Tea & Slippers - Fave the Site
Pencil Thin - Fave the Site
Garry Conn - Fave the Site
Stephen Fung - Fave the Site
eWritings - Fave the Site
Mommy’s Getaway - Fave the Site
GR8 Egypt - Fave the Site
Divya Uttam - Fave the Site
Sean Dinner - Fave the Site
O Salepito - Fave the Site
Kyle Beabo - Fave the Site
Six Degrees of Inspiration - Fave the Site
Randa Clay Design - Fave the Site
Failure is the key to success - Fave the Site
Tech Bold - Fave the Site
*** - Train Engineer** - Last Wagon***End Copying Here***

Saturday, 28 July 2007

That was the week that was

Fourteen days without break, and I have the Sunday off! Fourteen really long and eventful days, that, come Monday are sure to be followed by more of the same.
I am tired, angry and frustrated that somebody is using my staff and I as beta testers and Guinea pigs for a stupid, pointless project while ruining three years' worth of hard work of organising a department to virtually run itself.
The "brain" - and I use the term loosely - behind the project, even had the audacity to complain about my staff's performance and adaptability to me. I didn't dignify him with a response - which would probably have been the Greek equivalent of a torrent of four letter words - and instead opted to give a piece of my mind to my boss the following day. As they say about people of my size: "Good things come in small packages, but so do potent poisons"!
You do not destroy something functional because you cannot carry out basic project planning and because you want somebody else to do all the hard work for you, and then turn around and insult them! It just isn't on!
I have good relations with all of my staff, and I'm actually proud of their work, development and effort! No, incompetent ass, no matter how far up the "food chain" will be allowed to speak a bad word for them, and expect to get away with it. I am a vengeful sod, and I'm in the process of gathering information for a detailed report to the MD about this sorry excuse of a project.
Why then do I commit myself into this work so much as to sacrifice my personal time on it? It's not because of job security purposes, I can ensure you. I can stay without work for a number of years, during which time I'll surely encounter something better. It's not because I'm expecting comments of gratitude and appreciation from this lot. It's simply because I don't like seeing three years of hard work crumble to pieces in a fortnight! Most importantly, I cannot sit there and watch a perfectly good team of people being used as pawns in some moron's project wet dream!
I know I am ranting and raving - perhaps not even making any sense - and you don't deserve to be reading this crap. I just need to vent out the frustration of the past few days.
This blog, however, is dedicated to at least providing a smile on the face of the people reading it. Judging by the ladies' comments on my previous post, there is quite an interest in jokes about guy's "members" - for need of better expression - so I hope you enjoy what follows below.

A guy walks into the Gents' and notices a rather tanned gentleman standing next to him bearing a huge "dingaling"."I wish mine could be as long as that" said the man, unable to hide his admiration."No problem", said the coloured gentleman. "All you have to do is tie a bit of string to a brick, tie the other end to your willy, and walk with it dangling between your legs for a week".The next week they meet up in the same toilet in the same bar."That treatment of your is fantastic. Look!" he said pointing at his willy. "It's already turned black!"

Two guys are enjoying a beer at the bar.
Noticing a dog, lying on the floor, licking it's genitals, one guy says to the other:
"Oh! How I wish I could do that!"
"Give him a couple of biscuits and perhaps he'll let you"

Wednesday, 25 July 2007

Stavros

It's been a long 14 hour day and I just got in from work. I am too tired to post anything serious tonight - as if I ever do - but I'll share with you a joke I heared today.
This Greek guy full of himself, lets call him Stavros, takes his wife to the maternity clinic to give birth. He is a scruffy looking kinda guy, with a long moustache, sideburns, and greasy hair. He is wearing a shirt with only one button done, at the level of his belly button, a large belly, bearing a hairy chest and a large cross hanging from his neck on a large golden chain.
His wife is taken to the operating theater - or whatever it is called - and soon after the doctor comes out to speak to Stavros.
Doctor - "Your wife is expecting triplets, sir!"
Stavros proudly responds - " Well, of course doc! With Stavros' tool being as big as a hosepipe, what did you expect? And I bet you they are all going to be boys!!!"
The doctor, in shock from Stavros's answer, shakes his head and goes back to attend to his wife.
A couple of minutes later he comes back outside.
Doctor - "What do you know! The first one is a healthy boy!"
Stavros proudly responds - "I told you doc! With Stavros' tool being as big as a hosepipe, what did you expect? And I bet you the two are going to be boys, too!"
Shocked again the doctor returns to the theater.
He emerges a couple of minutes later.
Doctor - "The second is a boy, too!"
Stavros proudly responds - "I told you doc! With Stavros' tool being as big as a hosepipe, what did you expect? I'm sure the third is male, too!"
Once again, the doctor returns to the theater, shocked with this crude guy.
Comes back outside for the third time.
Doctor - "The third one is a boy as well!"
Stavros proudly responds - "I told you doc! With Stavros' tool being as big as a hosepipe, what did you expect?"
Annoyed by now with Stavros's cockiness, the doctor responds.
"Well, my dear friend Stavros, it's high time you started cleaning your hosepipe because all three boys have come out black!"

Tuesday, 24 July 2007

Gangbanged!

My dear fellow bloggers, this is not an X-rated themed post, although the odd profanity may make its way to the text. Instead, it's a pretty accurate description of how my co-workers and I feel after this weekend at work.
A more accurate description would by "gangbanged by a Viagra overdosed horde of elephants, freshly released from a ten year sexual drought". Yes! That's more like it.
I find stock taking a tedious, boring, but nevertheless important part of working life. It comes once or twice a year, and everyone is mentally prepared for getting bored senseless of trying to find stuff and accounting for any kinds of variances. So how do you make it more interesting to the staff?
Well, our gracious employers, always considering the best way of maintaining the spirits of the staff high during such periods, this year came up with an alternative plan! At the end of it, they planned the live introduction of an additional software package, designed to make our lives easier, and reducing the manual input of data to our ERP system.
It has been a project going on for the past four, perhaps five months. There have been meetings upon meetings, discussions upon discussions covering the length of the project, including a whole one hour (!) training session for the people who are going to be using it. It was during that training session, that we all realised we were dead meat! We raised questions about the procedures, the input method and so on and so forth. The software company representative who was giving us the training had an answer for each of our questions.
Yet answers of the type: "They didn't mention you need this!", "We were not requested to cover that kind of situation", "Is that what actually happens?", are hardly reassuring that all is well in the western front!
Come last Sunday every tiniest fear we had that we were totally screwed, was finally realised!
We finished our stock taking by 09.30am and then it was a matter of going live on the new system.
To be fair, the first couple of tests gave excellent results. We were cooking with gas!
Were we f..k!!! When it came to linking to our ERP, you could actually smell the foul scent of shit, while listening to the deafening sound of it hitting the proverbial fan! 11.45am the whole process ground to a halt, while the IT guys were trying to sort out the issue.
It was a slow and painful experience that went on and on. Five coffees later, hours and hours of SQL-what the hell it is I don't even want to know-we were getting a dim bright spot at the end of a quite long tunnel! In the meantime, several of the staff were excused to leave and join their families, for whatever was left to them of the Sunday afternoon. I went around the premises seeking for the dog - she has not been seen since Saturday and I fear she has met with some kind of ill fortune from the mongrels in the vicinity of our offices - then watched a helicopter do water drops on a rubbish pit fire 300 yards away, and then sat on my desk and doodled some tropical island scene.
The sun descended into the horizon, but we were still there, by now struggling with the communication between the software packages. To cut a long story short, some kind of a breakthrough came by 11.45pm, and we all decided to call it a day.
Monday was going to be better, we reassured each other, while getting into our cars. Was it f..k?
Come Monday morning we realised that although the two systems were communicating, they were exchanging information of no use to each other! Wait! Wait! It gets better!!!!
Lots of IT fiddling going on, the whole premises ground to a halt, and the phones starts to ring. Our inter company customers were calling to find out whether our logistics department was going to meet their needs! Ha! Fat chance! Not in your lifetime dude! Not with this kind of project preparation!
It turns out that our new super duper package can do virtually anything you ask it to do. It's a real pity, though, that during all these months of running the project, nobody considered looking at our procedures, nobody thought it would be worth their while to if not ask, at least sit in a corner and take notes of how the department works.
As a result, we are now three days into the system going live, we have managed to cover about 20% of our work, and the paperwork raised requires a small army of personnel for data entry alone! It is like someone came to your house, decided to use your stove to bake you a cake, and demolished your kitchen while doing it!
This is a big mess that will take some time to set straight, especially with virtually half of the people due to go on leave in August! Perhaps the Chinese proverb says "may you live in interesting times" but this is pretty much ludicrous. Bloody Greeks, taking things to extremes again!
Helicopter putting out fire across our offices




My island retreat doodle

Saturday, 21 July 2007

Weekend tune

A sweet little country song for the weekend!

I wish you all a better weekend than mine!!!!!



PS. I've not managed to stop the Parajito song from autoplaying, so please wait until it finishes before listening to this tune.

Friday, 20 July 2007

Mutt Update

It turns out that Mutt is actually a female! Slap my thigh! It was a pimple after all!
Yes! It has been officially checked and confirmed - and cost me a fiver on a wager. The methodology used was pretty scientific! We gave him...her something to eat, and then stroked her - got it right this time - while she was lying on her back.
(I suppose a little rehash of the birds and bees story is pretty darned necessary in our offices. After all, even the ladies got the gender wrong! It seems that as far as a sex life goes, we are a pretty miserable, useless bunch in there. People reading this blog will know my excuse. I wonder what theirs is).
On the positive side, at least it's not a stray, skinny dog with a pimple sized willy!
Since obviously Mutt is an inappropriate name for a female dog, we now need to come up with a new name. There was a big debate during lunch, and the final options are:
  1. Bitch - my choice (both a female and cost me a fiver!)
  2. Lady - I find it pretty pedestrian.
  3. Bones - Might give her a complex (you know, with all this Anorexia halabaloo going on)
  4. Tart - I just came up with that! (similar to Bitch but sweet, too!)
  5. Some other pretty lame, finger-in-throat kinda name.

PS 1. I believe this post has cost me ALL my female audience!

PS 2. She still eats as if it's going out of fashion!

Thursday, 19 July 2007

Just a Thursday

I woke up late this morning. No particular reason, but fancied an extra snooze. By the time I got my breakfast and got into the car, it was thirty minutes later than the time I usually leave home.

I ended up arriving to work the usual time! This is why I absolutely love the summertime! The period between mid July to end of August, population in Athens - and traffic - reduces dramatically. With people living for their summer holidays, Athens virtually empties - to such an extent that during mid August there's more tourists in the town centre than locals - and shows her true, beautiful colours. No smog, no traffic, no people rushing around. It's just you, the picturesque city corners, the little parks and the ancient ruins. Simply beautiful!

Returning to my journey to work, I had a hearse in front of my for the hole duration. I'm not particularly superstitious, but hearses give me the creeps,. So, following one for the whole journey, gave me the sence that this was going to be one of those "why did I get out of bed" days.

As it turned out, it wasn't. The usal chaos and mayhem of another office day, but no major disasters.

In fact, the day had a surprise for us all at the office! A cute little stray dog had decided to pay a visit to our premices. It must be only a few months old. Skinny - you can count each and every bone one his body - and constantly with its tail tucked between his legs.

We gave Mutt - that's what I named him - water, milk and a couple of sandwiches from the vending machine. We always doubted the quality of those things, so this was the acid test. To our relief he copiously ate them!

By the end of the day, he grew accustomed to us, and as a token of his appreciation he pissed and crapped all over the floor of our warehouse!

Mutt
Camera shy


No wonder his a skeleton considering that his butt is so productive!

Creative Too?


These walk to the podium will kill me, either of embarrassment of exhaustion. I'm a 2,500 year old fart, after all!
Seriously, though, jyankee of New Beginnings fame, has honoured me by awarding me with the Creative Blogger Award!
I suppose I am being creative in developing new spelling for simple English words, or for absolutely murdering the syntax and grammar of the language!
The sntence. Twenty years of blogging without parole!!!
I don't know what to say. Thank you all!!!
I want to pass on the honour to some special people out there:
  1. My friend David of Foulbastard fame for the award for having a very creative imagination and an excellent sence of humour!
  2. My New Yorker friend Rebecca of Pixels from the Edge fame for giving us an inside look into her daily life in the Big Apple!
  3. My friend for the Far East, Blur Ting for the fascinating stories and gorgeous pictures she provides us with.
  4. My friend Wolfgang for writing great posts full of great quotes!
  5. My Chicago - hopefully soon to be South Cali - friend Hollygl for her great posts and her sweet poems!

I know the majority of you already have the award, but all the same take it as a token of appreciation for your good work out there!

The rules are:

1) If you have received an award simply choose either the dark or light background image and save it to your files, then post it proudly on your blog!

2) Pass the award on to five other people, you can choose any of the awards from the series, you do not have to pass out the exact award you received. Choose whichever of the awards below that you'd like to give out. You can give out one of each or five of the same one, whatever you prefer.

3) You can change the size and color of awards to suit your blog, that's up to you, it's your blog, just leave the titles the same.

4) Please link back to this post so that people can read these rules and so that the meanings of the awards will not be lost.

Wednesday, 18 July 2007

Parajito - with sound

To all you kind friends out there reading this blog I dedicate this - especially the ladies!
A minute long love song - in perfect broken English - by one of the cutest little creatures I've come across!




http://www.irlmeier.de/bird.swf

Tuesday, 17 July 2007

Mom's plants

What can I say? The next place they'll start a fire in this city, will most probably be my mom's balcony! She's got a couple of plants there, so what the heck!
The ARSEonists hit again yesterday, setting fire to a hill about 7km from the centre of Athens!!!! (As I'm writing this, there's a new fire about 15km from the center! Go figure!).
At this rate, the dogs will have to go to the toilet on our legs and finding a tree in the vicinity of Athens will become the new Treasure Hunt - it will most probably be broadcast live on television, as the new reality game craze, so stay tuned!
For the life of them, the authorities can not catch a single one of these guys for the past thirty years! Simply catch him and let him to the hands of the mob. The only justice their sort deserves!
What the heck is wrong with these people? It must be true that when god was handing out genitalia, they rushed to jump the cue, but when he started handing out brains, they were busy playing with what they already got!
Words coming to my head are of the "decorative" type adjectives about the bunch of lunatics inhabiting this arm like piece of land, so I gather this should be the best place to end this post and promise to return to my blogging routine tomorrow with a happier theme!

A song for the ARSEonists:




PS. Next time you visit this country, please bring your own tree!!!

Monday, 16 July 2007

My encounter with Speedy Gonzales

Returning from work, a couple of years ago, I was driving along enjoying the ride, especially since I'd just finished a horrible 18 hour day at the office.
There I was, heater on - it was November or December - and the music pumping on the stereo.
Paid at the toll booth, and proceeded to enter the motorway! Indicated, got into the far left speed lane - I belong to the scarce minority of Greek drivers who indicate when changing lanes - and off I went.
That particular stretch of motorway goes up a mountain, and the speed limit is 100km (60m). There I am doing 130km (70m) - don't forget we are in Greece, where speed limits are taken with a pinch of salt.
Suddenly, I see in my rear view mirror, a guy about 200 yards away doing what seemed like 100m, flashing his headlights. I indicated, and tried to get in the stream of cars in the slower lane on my right. They wouldn't let me!
Speedy Gonzales - driving the latest Christine model - in the rear is now right on my tail, flashing his high beams on me and blowing his horn. Since I couldn't move over, I stepped on the gas and accelerated, trying to save myself from getting run over.
Gonzales accelerates with me, so you have two raving lunatics, doing 120m going up a bleeding mountain! Just what the doctor ordered for a return trip home!
It was getting pretty desperate out there, so I turned my indicator on and squeezed into the traffic on the right, earning myself the kindest comments in the Greek vocabulary from the drivers I had just cut into!
As Gonzales was now overtaking me, his passenger thought it wise to comment on my driving through an open window. Call of wrong move!
I wound down the window and through a fully stretched arm, I delivered to him the birdie!
So, now we have the even better situation of two raving Greeks driving next to each other, complimenting each other, enhancing in the process the other drivers' vocabulary.
Not my proudest moment, I must admit, but it had been a long and difficult day. All I wanted was to get back home, and instead I'm getting chased up a mountain by a nouveau riche rear end orifice, who decided he had to check the limits of his turbo charged manhood extension.
Through tunnels we went, through turns we drove, shouting abuse at each other - I just could not let go - until I saw a parked police car on the hard shoulder at the end of the tunnel.
Drove right behind the police and slammed on my brakes! Gonzales, thought I wanted a fight - apparently didn't notice the police - stopped right behind me. BIG mistake!
"Is everything alright?" said the policeman.
"I believe these guys are chasing me officer!" I responded.
"Leave it to me, sir! I'll take care of this!"
We all got out of our cars and startedtelling the officer what had happened.
"Ok, sir. You can leave now" he said to me, bringing out his ticket book, and preparing to deliver some of his autographs to Gonzales and his friend.
It felt soooooooooooooooooooo sweet!