Monday, 16 July 2007

My encounter with Speedy Gonzales

Returning from work, a couple of years ago, I was driving along enjoying the ride, especially since I'd just finished a horrible 18 hour day at the office.
There I was, heater on - it was November or December - and the music pumping on the stereo.
Paid at the toll booth, and proceeded to enter the motorway! Indicated, got into the far left speed lane - I belong to the scarce minority of Greek drivers who indicate when changing lanes - and off I went.
That particular stretch of motorway goes up a mountain, and the speed limit is 100km (60m). There I am doing 130km (70m) - don't forget we are in Greece, where speed limits are taken with a pinch of salt.
Suddenly, I see in my rear view mirror, a guy about 200 yards away doing what seemed like 100m, flashing his headlights. I indicated, and tried to get in the stream of cars in the slower lane on my right. They wouldn't let me!
Speedy Gonzales - driving the latest Christine model - in the rear is now right on my tail, flashing his high beams on me and blowing his horn. Since I couldn't move over, I stepped on the gas and accelerated, trying to save myself from getting run over.
Gonzales accelerates with me, so you have two raving lunatics, doing 120m going up a bleeding mountain! Just what the doctor ordered for a return trip home!
It was getting pretty desperate out there, so I turned my indicator on and squeezed into the traffic on the right, earning myself the kindest comments in the Greek vocabulary from the drivers I had just cut into!
As Gonzales was now overtaking me, his passenger thought it wise to comment on my driving through an open window. Call of wrong move!
I wound down the window and through a fully stretched arm, I delivered to him the birdie!
So, now we have the even better situation of two raving Greeks driving next to each other, complimenting each other, enhancing in the process the other drivers' vocabulary.
Not my proudest moment, I must admit, but it had been a long and difficult day. All I wanted was to get back home, and instead I'm getting chased up a mountain by a nouveau riche rear end orifice, who decided he had to check the limits of his turbo charged manhood extension.
Through tunnels we went, through turns we drove, shouting abuse at each other - I just could not let go - until I saw a parked police car on the hard shoulder at the end of the tunnel.
Drove right behind the police and slammed on my brakes! Gonzales, thought I wanted a fight - apparently didn't notice the police - stopped right behind me. BIG mistake!
"Is everything alright?" said the policeman.
"I believe these guys are chasing me officer!" I responded.
"Leave it to me, sir! I'll take care of this!"
We all got out of our cars and startedtelling the officer what had happened.
"Ok, sir. You can leave now" he said to me, bringing out his ticket book, and preparing to deliver some of his autographs to Gonzales and his friend.
It felt soooooooooooooooooooo sweet!

15 comments:

Bop said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
"Wolfgang" said...

It's amazing when some deserving "rear-end orifice" gets his just rewards!

Sorry for the deleted post, I discovered I wasn't logged in as me.

Kate said...

LOL!! Clever guy! I can never think quickly enough at moments like this to come up with such a great solution.

JYankee said...

Yeah...you showed HIM didn't ya????Luckily it ended with no harm done.

Alice Kildaire said...

see, here in the southeastern USA, at least one of you would've had a shotgun and somebody might have been seriously hurt were it not for the fact that Gonzalez most likely went to school with the officer, bringing about a very different resolution to the situation...gotta admire your vehicle's braking abilities!

HollyGL said...

Epi, Thank God you weren't hurt in any way. It is nice, though, isn't it - when "they" get their come uppance!

Blur Ting said...

Bet you scurried home as fast as you could, before Gonzales decides to come after you!

Random Magus said...

That must have felt exhilarating...the sweet speed of victory!

rp said...

So, road rage is universal, is it? Glad you were not hurt--it could have ended very differently. And I would never have thought to tell the cop he was chasing me!

As the passenger, I am technically not allowed to flip the bird to every deserving jackass on the road. Every now and again, however, I do it anyway (and incur my husband's wrath).

eastcoastdweller said...

I like your blog! Mind if I link it on mine?

Epimenides said...

Wolfgang, I couldn't agree more!

Kate - I guess it's the "vindictive bastard" in me surfacing in situations like this!

jyankee- it was one of my not so few stupid things in life, I guess.

Tell me about it, Alice! Thinking about it, I could have been beaten up in a pulp, or even crashed. Thankfully, I was lucky!

hollygl, It is nice when justice is done, but I don't think I would try it again, though!

Oh yes random, the sweet speed of victory indeed!

I'm affraid it is! I'm also affraid that I can't resist "flipping the bird" to people of this sort. Believe you me, there's a heck of a lot of opportunities to flip the bird to drivers here!

Welcome, eastcoastdweller! Thank you for your comments! I do not mind at all! In fact, it's an honour! :)

Amel's Realm said...

He he he...Oh, Epi, you can always make me laugh. ;-)))

Keep rockin' the blogworld with laughter!!!

Epimenides said...

Thanks Amel! :)

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