Wednesday, 23 May 2007

If Cosmo Mag Editorial Staff Were Men

Q. My husband asks me for oral sex all the time
A. Do it! Sperm will help you lose weight and will give an extra glow to your face. All men know that. His offer to allow you to perform oral sex to him is totally altruistic. It goes to show how much he loves you. The best way to thank him for it, is to perform oral sex TWICE a day. Then cook him a good meal.

Q. My husband goes out with his friends all the time
A. This is completely normal. Men are hunters and have to prove their bravery to other men. A night out, chasing free young women, is the best medicine to daily stress, and allows him to return to a cosy family environment calm, carefree and relaxed.
Remember, there's nothing better for your relationship than your husband taking a couple of days away from home (A wonderful opportunity for you to do the housework). Observe how happy and sentimental he is when he returns to the comfort of your embrace.
The best you can do when he returns is to perform oral sex. Then cook him a good meal.

Q. My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is
A. Your clitoris is irrelevant to him. If you are going to spend time on it, do so at your free time. You can ask your best friend to help you! Videotape the proceedings, and surprise your husband with the video tape on his birthday. To rid yourself of any guilt you may feel, perform oral sex to him, and cook a good meal.

Q. My husband is not interested in foreplay
A. Foreplay is very stressful and time consuming for your husband. Sex should be made available to him whenever he desires it, WITHOUT crazy demands about foreplay. Your behaviour shows you don't love your husband enough. Stop being so self centered! Perhaps you could get some redemption by performing oral sex to him and cooking a good meal.

Q. My husband orgasms, and then goes straight to sleep
A. I'm not sure I understand the problem. Perhaps you have forgotten to prepare him a nice meal...

1 comment:

Amel's Realm said...

He he he...all I can say is that I'm SOOOOO glad my husband isn't like that. :-)))